*Sniff* Do I smell brains? *Sniff* Mmmm, Brains.
Now, why exactly do I stereotype characters so blatantly? Well, for one, it is a great humor device, but secondly, I'm fighting stereotypes by perpetuating them. Let me explain... Most people carry prejudices and stereotypes because they were presented to them discretely, factually, and seriously at one point or another in their lives. I, however, am going to blatantly, sarcastically, and humorously place many stereotypes in this parody so that anytime you come across any of these stereotypes from now on, you'll have a humorous note and automatically not take them that seriously. See?! I'm making you less prejudiced. You're welcome.
Anyhow, none of this, absolutely NONE of this is meant to be insulting. Okay, well, perhaps some of it is, but if you think its insulting, it wasn't intended to be, and if you don't find it insulting, then there's probably an insult buried in there somewhere.
I have warned in the forward that this story is irreverent, humorous, sarcastic, and basically a dump of random ideas which aren't entirely my own. This is meant as a work of parody, of comedy. There are far worse, far more offensive things on television. If you don't like this, go watch something wholesome like FOUND or Enemies, or Jill and Chace (Names changed for shows to prevent lawsuits). For movies, go watch something like Take It Back or any of the millions of Creepy Film (Names changed) parodies if you find this offensive, then come back and tell me if I'm really that awful
Anyhow, if you have zero sense of humor, just stop reading now. Basically, if you understand and appreciate the humor and satire of such shows as The Dolbert Findings and The Nightly Programme (Again, names changed), then you'll appreciate this story.
Still, for those offended, here's my little responses to what I'm sure you might already protest about.
I've decided for the sake of making this simple, I'm going to do my little bits for each chapter as I go along:
Prologue:
-Yes, I'm aware not all nerds are skinny and pasty.
-Yes, I know not all cheerleaders are anorexic, fake-tanned, bleach-blonde, narcissistic sluts.
- Yes, I know not all Canadians are lumberjacks, and they don't all love flannel, pancakes, have pet beavers and meese, and that they are, in fact, aware of the "ou" vowel combination in spite of what I might portray.
- I am aware jocks can be smart.
- I am aware not all religious schools are set in old thinking-- I went to one myself.
- Yes, I know not all beavers are British, or some horribly misguided facsimile thereof.
- The author has the utmost respect for Wyoming. She would like to visit there someday. She has never been to Cheyenne and hasn't bothered to do much research past Wikipedia, which is all she has the attention span to... oooh, shiny. Ahem. Back on point... most if not all the places in this book are fictional, purely figments of the author's imagination. However, if the author creates an imaginary place and someone wishes to recreate it, she will sue for copyright violation. Actually, that's a lie. She'd be extremely flattered, and after questioning your sanity will probably ask for consistent updates and visit at some point.
Anyhow. Go, Wyoming! And Canada! And Montana, cause I'm pretty sure it's between Wyoming and Canada (don't trust my Geography), and as such is a silent victim to the Zombie plague.
Is that it for this chapter? Huh, that's a relatively uninsulting chapter. I'll have to work on that.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Acknowledgments
Braaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnssss.
This post goes out to all the brains that have influenced A Zombie Parody.
I most definitely owe the first acknowledgment to Ashton, who you will come to know and hopefully love as "Ash" in her stereotyped counterpart. She is the one you have to thank (or blame) for the fact that I actually stuck with writing instead of surrendering it as a whim when I first started 2 years ago. She has read, edited, read some more, edited more, and most importantly muddled through the randomness that is my train of thought plot outlines to tell me if a story is good or not. She has sat and listened to me ramble, contributing more ideas than I could even consider and telling me to keep writing when I thought it seemed totally pointless. Okay, so maybe it is pointless, but the reason I kept writing was the thought that if just one person cared to read it, it was a story worth telling. Ashton has been that one person from day one, and has made every story worth telling and therefore the person most responsible for my storytelling. She is an amazing friend and what I think the most underpaid editor ever-- A dozen burned CDs for editing? What a steal. Thank you, Ashton.
Second shout out must go to my Kimma, the longest-surviving victim of my insanity. My best friend literally since preschool, you all can blame her for my literacy. With all the books she reads, tells me about, and makes me read (thankfully), she was predominantly responsible for reigniting my passion for stories when high school killed it. Everytime I see her overstuffed bookcase, it makes me smile and hope that in that huge house she'll have in Ireland someday, someday she'll have a bookcase full of my books. Thanks, Kimma!
Then, there's Archie, another writer who you can either worship or curse for inadvertently inspiring the ADD narrator and helping me agree on a Zombie Parody to unleash him on. You shall meet him as a the character "Archie" (I get so creative with names, don't I? No worries, I've got permission). He is also to blame for some random late-night ideas involving characters and plot points to include. I shall also here mention the group referred to as "Archie and Co." aka Brooke, Chris, Nick, and Mike who have recently spent a lunch with me spurring random ideas ranging from flaming chainsaws, to Ephram the shoulder beaver, to entertaining swimwear and the best romance story ever to grace a Zombie story.
Though I know they'll likely never read this, I also have to give a shout to my family. My parents, who are responsible for my above-par education to lead to my relatively high literacy, and the family as a whole for not squashing my randomness but encouraging it. Thanks to my dad for teaching me how to be funny yet still G-rated (as the story strives to be, if you take out all that pesky violence), and to my mom for cheesy sci-fi marathons. To my little sis for her randomness as well, and all the wide network of cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.
Especially to my Grandma Ducky for reading to me and teaching me the fascination of a good story, and my Grandpa Joseph for exposing me to the magic and humor of making up stories and selling them to me as believable. I miss you both.
Next goes a shout to all my fellow writers. To Leigh, for help with names and the challenge of the ferrets, as well as being a constant source for horror/action movie expertise. To Kasey, for reading some of my work and giving me the pleasure of being one of the first to read her fascinating book that I will pimp on this site as soon as she gets it published because it deserves that. To Kristen W, for long car rides home filled with chat about story lines. To Tollehouse for listening to my story ideas until 3 am on a regular basis. To Jess, for her enthusiasm and encouragement, and every writer who I hope to draw together into a writing group at college shortly.
Now to my sisters, if of the adoptive variety. To all my fellow Phi Delts, who've been so much a family that college is almost more a home than home is. For everything from support at my lowest to the laughter and fun and being the cause of most of my highest moments, from the late nights up and early mornings working, from parties to personal help... They've been my sisters through and through. Not to mention, they're just as wonderfully random as I am and have encouraged me not to conform as a sorority girl, but to bring Amerz to the sorority.
To all the rest of my friends, many and varied and to be listed for specific reasons as they hound me about it, they have contributed as much to this story as anyone else. It is impossible for me to interact with someone and not take a piece of it with me, and as I am the writer of this, all of them have influenced this in some way whether any of us know it or not. I am who I am because of the interaction with others, and they are as much to blame for this as I am.
That's right, I'm going politician on you and saying this story is not my fault. Unless you like it, which of course will cause me to take full responsibility.
And to a variety of media that will have clear influence on this book, whether or not they like it cause was a viewer, and I am a parody-writer, so they may well be parodied. These include: The Resident Evil Franchise, Dead and Deader, Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, and Shaun of the Dead are immediately brought to mind.
As far as books go, I have to praise I Am Legend for the sheer drama, and then World War Z for quality zombie literature, and The Zombie Survival Guide which will be frequently referenced for its zombie guidelines, even if the characters are completely oblivious to it.
And lastly, a shout out to Ludo, particularily for their "Broken Bride" CD. More often than not, I'm listening to the glorious Zombie epic song "Save Our City" as I'm writing. Really, if you haven't heard it yet, do so now. They have taken time machines, zombies, dinosaurs, dragons, and the apocalypse and thrown it all together into what sounds like it ought to be an overreached and comical storyline, but instead make a heartfelt rock opera that makes me wish I had that sort of storytelling skill.
I would also like to thank the makers of maple syrup, replica swords, flaming chainsaws, lighters, ferrets, music players, lawn chairs, beavers, golf paraphernalia, Katies, malls, attics, laser guns, beavers, queso dip, bowling balls, rum, and exploding rodents. I owe you much.
And this will expand more as I have more credit to give to the other braaaaaiiiinnnnssss behind this book.
Last but far from least, I thank the readers. Every poll vote, every comment gives me hope and makes my dream of being a writer come true a little more. It is my pleasure to entertain you, and I thank you for giving my tales a bit of your precious time and attention. You are the reason behind this book more than anything else, because a story without readers is just a thought. Thank you.
Enjoy A Zombie Parody.
This post goes out to all the brains that have influenced A Zombie Parody.
I most definitely owe the first acknowledgment to Ashton, who you will come to know and hopefully love as "Ash" in her stereotyped counterpart. She is the one you have to thank (or blame) for the fact that I actually stuck with writing instead of surrendering it as a whim when I first started 2 years ago. She has read, edited, read some more, edited more, and most importantly muddled through the randomness that is my train of thought plot outlines to tell me if a story is good or not. She has sat and listened to me ramble, contributing more ideas than I could even consider and telling me to keep writing when I thought it seemed totally pointless. Okay, so maybe it is pointless, but the reason I kept writing was the thought that if just one person cared to read it, it was a story worth telling. Ashton has been that one person from day one, and has made every story worth telling and therefore the person most responsible for my storytelling. She is an amazing friend and what I think the most underpaid editor ever-- A dozen burned CDs for editing? What a steal. Thank you, Ashton.
Second shout out must go to my Kimma, the longest-surviving victim of my insanity. My best friend literally since preschool, you all can blame her for my literacy. With all the books she reads, tells me about, and makes me read (thankfully), she was predominantly responsible for reigniting my passion for stories when high school killed it. Everytime I see her overstuffed bookcase, it makes me smile and hope that in that huge house she'll have in Ireland someday, someday she'll have a bookcase full of my books. Thanks, Kimma!
Then, there's Archie, another writer who you can either worship or curse for inadvertently inspiring the ADD narrator and helping me agree on a Zombie Parody to unleash him on. You shall meet him as a the character "Archie" (I get so creative with names, don't I? No worries, I've got permission). He is also to blame for some random late-night ideas involving characters and plot points to include. I shall also here mention the group referred to as "Archie and Co." aka Brooke, Chris, Nick, and Mike who have recently spent a lunch with me spurring random ideas ranging from flaming chainsaws, to Ephram the shoulder beaver, to entertaining swimwear and the best romance story ever to grace a Zombie story.
Though I know they'll likely never read this, I also have to give a shout to my family. My parents, who are responsible for my above-par education to lead to my relatively high literacy, and the family as a whole for not squashing my randomness but encouraging it. Thanks to my dad for teaching me how to be funny yet still G-rated (as the story strives to be, if you take out all that pesky violence), and to my mom for cheesy sci-fi marathons. To my little sis for her randomness as well, and all the wide network of cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.
Especially to my Grandma Ducky for reading to me and teaching me the fascination of a good story, and my Grandpa Joseph for exposing me to the magic and humor of making up stories and selling them to me as believable. I miss you both.
Next goes a shout to all my fellow writers. To Leigh, for help with names and the challenge of the ferrets, as well as being a constant source for horror/action movie expertise. To Kasey, for reading some of my work and giving me the pleasure of being one of the first to read her fascinating book that I will pimp on this site as soon as she gets it published because it deserves that. To Kristen W, for long car rides home filled with chat about story lines. To Tollehouse for listening to my story ideas until 3 am on a regular basis. To Jess, for her enthusiasm and encouragement, and every writer who I hope to draw together into a writing group at college shortly.
Now to my sisters, if of the adoptive variety. To all my fellow Phi Delts, who've been so much a family that college is almost more a home than home is. For everything from support at my lowest to the laughter and fun and being the cause of most of my highest moments, from the late nights up and early mornings working, from parties to personal help... They've been my sisters through and through. Not to mention, they're just as wonderfully random as I am and have encouraged me not to conform as a sorority girl, but to bring Amerz to the sorority.
To all the rest of my friends, many and varied and to be listed for specific reasons as they hound me about it, they have contributed as much to this story as anyone else. It is impossible for me to interact with someone and not take a piece of it with me, and as I am the writer of this, all of them have influenced this in some way whether any of us know it or not. I am who I am because of the interaction with others, and they are as much to blame for this as I am.
That's right, I'm going politician on you and saying this story is not my fault. Unless you like it, which of course will cause me to take full responsibility.
And to a variety of media that will have clear influence on this book, whether or not they like it cause was a viewer, and I am a parody-writer, so they may well be parodied. These include: The Resident Evil Franchise, Dead and Deader, Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, and Shaun of the Dead are immediately brought to mind.
As far as books go, I have to praise I Am Legend for the sheer drama, and then World War Z for quality zombie literature, and The Zombie Survival Guide which will be frequently referenced for its zombie guidelines, even if the characters are completely oblivious to it.
And lastly, a shout out to Ludo, particularily for their "Broken Bride" CD. More often than not, I'm listening to the glorious Zombie epic song "Save Our City" as I'm writing. Really, if you haven't heard it yet, do so now. They have taken time machines, zombies, dinosaurs, dragons, and the apocalypse and thrown it all together into what sounds like it ought to be an overreached and comical storyline, but instead make a heartfelt rock opera that makes me wish I had that sort of storytelling skill.
I would also like to thank the makers of maple syrup, replica swords, flaming chainsaws, lighters, ferrets, music players, lawn chairs, beavers, golf paraphernalia, Katies, malls, attics, laser guns, beavers, queso dip, bowling balls, rum, and exploding rodents. I owe you much.
And this will expand more as I have more credit to give to the other braaaaaiiiinnnnssss behind this book.
Last but far from least, I thank the readers. Every poll vote, every comment gives me hope and makes my dream of being a writer come true a little more. It is my pleasure to entertain you, and I thank you for giving my tales a bit of your precious time and attention. You are the reason behind this book more than anything else, because a story without readers is just a thought. Thank you.
Enjoy A Zombie Parody.
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